# Sexual Violence
## August 26th, 2020
- ...annnnnd the instructor forgot to turn on his microphone for 2 minutes; a typical start to a typical day
- We have a guest lecture from Deontez Wimbley, one of the Georgia Tech Health Initiatives instructors ("we've unfortunately scaled back since COVID hit, but we still provide virtual services, and can provide counseling for those who absolutely need it")
- Specifically, he's on the VOICE team, the Tech initiative for student awareness and prevention of sexual violence
- What we're supposed to learn:
- Define and understand "consent"
- Four ways to help in potentially dangerous situations
- Other things
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- So, let's take a poll: what do you think of when you hear the term "sexual violence?"
- "Rape" is a big one, and so are "abuse," "harassment," "intrusive," "unwanted," etc.
- At VOICE, we define SEXUAL VIOLENCE as an umbrella term for any unwanted sexual contact, attention, or activity, including sexual harassment, stalking, dating violence, sexual assault, etc.
- Let's walk through a few example scenarios
- In 2018, a couple broke up in Raleigh, NC; following that, the former boyfriend repeatedly called his former girlfriend's phone. When she didn't answer, he began calling her from other people's phones, and several weeks later tracked her down at a bar and confronted her. After that, her house was broken into; while nothing was taken, her things had been rummaged through and the door lock was broken.
- This is primarily stalking, but includes harassment, too
- Let's say Elizabeth and John start a new sexual relationship, and Elizabeth is "impressed" by John's performance. She wants to brag to her friends, so she videotapes them in bed together without telling John.
- This is definitely a problem because John didn't CONSENT to this; this might also fall under the "dating violence" category because of that
- A group of students wait outside a dorm and publicly rate the passerby on how hot they are; when a "10" passes by, they raise a sign that says "10," and eventually many students avoid that dorm
- Harassment is definitely at play here, along with shaming, unwanted attraction, etc.
- "We define HARASSMENT as any time you're creating an unwelcome environment that makes people feel uncomfortable, particularly from unsolicited attention"
- So, a new question: what is "consent"?
- A few common words: "agreement," "together," "yes," "mutual," "clear," "enthusiastic," etc.
- Consent sounds really formal and awkward, but it's not just a legal term; it's about you being in control of your own body, regardless of the circumstance, and it's okay to say no whenever you don't want to
- "...it's also the key to having actually good sex" - awkward NYU video that is trying to be way too upbeat about this (and...make it seem sexy?)
- "If you don't know the answer is a 100% clear 'yes', assume it's NO!"
- "Your standard for sexual agreement should be higher than 'not technically a felony'"
- We at VOICE think about consent using the "FRIES" acronym:
- F = Freely given; it's not forced
- R = Reversible; you can back out at any time
- I = Informed; both parties have to know FULLY what's going on
- E = Enthusiastic; both people should WANT to do it
- "You don't owe anyone your body" (obviously true in a dating relationship, but not necessarily in marriage (within limits, of course); marriage is mutually promising each other fully to one another, and so you ideally both owe each other love, physical or otherwise)
- S = Specific; consent for one thing doesn't equal consent for EVERYTHING
- Now, ending sexual violence has taken 2 different paths: risk reduction, and prevention
- RISK REDUCTION is about reducing the chance of you being a victim
- PREVENTION is about changing the culture and stopping sexual violence before it ever starts
- There are multiple layers that result in sexual violence happening; PERPETRATORS actually commit the act, FACILITATORS go along with it and encourage it (laughing at the joke, renting a room, etc.), BYSTANDERS don't support the act, but don't speak up against it, and the CULTURE informs the ideas of all of them (some positive, some negative)
- (Where's the victim in this graph? They don't fit into any of the categories, but are they assuming the victim is helpless?)
- "Let's watch a video to learn about what 'rape culture' actually means"
- RAPE CULTURE is an environment that accepts that rape is normalized and unavoidable (resulting from sexualization, dismissal, victim blaming, culture glamorizing sexual violence in humor/media, etc.)
- Speaking further, a BYSTANDER of sexual violence is someone who's a witness to this act happening or beginning to happen; this can be positive (speaking up for the person, taking a picture of what's going on, interrupting the conversation) or negative (staying silent, leaving so you're not a part of things, etc.)
- We encourage ACTIVE or PRO-SOCIAL BYSTANDERS, who decide to intervene to help stop sexual violence
- There are 4 ways we recommend doing this:
- The DIRECT method, where you directly confront what's happening
- The DISTRACTION method, where you defuse the situation to stop the abuse happening (e.g. in response to something offensive, not laughing, or even saying "huh, I don't see why that's funny, could you explain it?")
- The DELEGATE method, where you go get help from someone better equipped to tackle this than you
- The DELAY method, where you try to keep things from going any further (I think?) and buy time for things to cool off
- So, how can you prevent sexual violence?
- Educate yourself on how sexual violence happens and impacts people
- Model safe, respectful behaviors through your own words and actions ("wearing face masks is a good example of this")
- Personally committing to avoid violence
- Challenging others who have problematic behaviors
- Helping friends who have been victims